Left I on the News

"Meddling in other elections is -- to achieve a short-term objective is not in the interests of the neighborhood."

- George W. Bush, casting a stone at Hugo Chavez

After you get done laughing, note how Bush caught himself in the middle of the sentence. Meddling in other elections to achieve long-term objectives (like, say, advancing the reach of imperialism) is perfectly o.k. with Bush, as is the ultimate in "meddling" -- invading other countries and overthrowing their governments. But meddling to achieve "short-term objectives" -- that's a no-no.

By the way, you might wonder what Bush means by "short-term objectives." He doesn't say. But I'd speculate that what he means is that, in the long term, in his view, capitalism and "Pax Americana" are fated to rule the entire world, so that any gains for the left in Latin America, and anything Hugo Chavez or anyone else does to encourage those gains, are strictly "short-term" affairs.

I'll return to the "humor" part of this post with the rest of Bush's answer to the question:

"I'm going to remind our allies and friends in the neighborhood that the United States of America stands for justice; that when we see poverty, we care about it and we do something about it; that we care for good -- we stand for good health care."